Back home. Driving up the mountain pass, rolling down windows and letting the cool mountain breezes blow over us, always offers a gentle welcome. Breath slows, deepens... and then the dappled shade of an oh so familiar windy road leads us up and up. Past proud Arum lilies and new growth cascading down the rock face, like the bridal bouquet from my grandmother's wedding picture. In just a few days, new blooms seemed to have appeared everywhere, the first shoots of Spring now have substance, shape. A few days of sand, beach and salty water washed over us like liquid sunshine, leaving us glowing and rested. I am learning to experience moments like gifts, receiving each one just for what it is. Small crabs that crawl with tingling haste over your toes, the incredible lightness of a beach-ball, the never-ending song of the ocean. Learning to play, to let go the uncertainty of tomorrow.
After a day of cleaning and busyness, the slow rhythm and feel of the mountain once again settled in. The sweetness of that carefree time suddenly seemed so far, and without warning a heaviness settled on my shoulders. The "glow" just ebbed away and in its place was a flotsam of tangled emotions and lethargy. I fell into the trap of trying to analyse it, and that just resulted in me feeling ungrateful and lazy.
Apart from being unable to see beyond my own feelings of inadequacy, I became "disabled" by being too focused on how I "feel". I knew it was time to write a blog message, but felt no inspiration at all. Then finally, as I turned to Jesus, told Satan to get behind me, and was able to look beyond myself, one small word came into my mind: "joy". (In my case the lack of it...). Circumstances, places, experiences and "things" bring happiness. Jesus alone brings JOY.
A gift - free, undeserved, unconditional, uncircumstancial, unlimited.
We sing a song with the boys that says: "The joy of the Lord is my strength". And they "pretend" show their muscles and clap and dance like only children can. Then I found that these were actually the the words of Nehemiah to the people of Israel, returned from captivity in Babylon, when the book of Law was being read out to them. They wept and fell to the ground as they realised that they had not kept these laws. Then Nehemiah looks out over them and says: "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength". Strength in Joy is offered to them. Not happy days released from exile into the "free and easy". But comforted with the knowledge that to repent of what lay behind, surrender and follow the One and only Lord their God, would bring JOY. The joy of knowing that they serve Him and are held in His covenant, His care. This joy would give them the strength to obey the same words of the law which were causing them so much sorrow at the time.
The joy of Christ and the joy of the world cannot "consist" together. That may sound like a catch, but it is just the truth. They are as incompatible as oil and water. When the world says "you deserve to have what makes you happy" the Word says: "Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.(1 John 2:15). The joy of Christ, will give us strength to resist what the world holds out as reward for allegiance to it (and the prince of darkness who rules it.) And as the longing for what is of the earth starts fading, JOY in serving Jesus starts growing. (I seem to require regular pruning to keep this growth alive, not so pleasant, but very necessary).
The Father alone knows what you need, what truly brings you joy - Jesus. He loves to see you smile. With your face turned up. His gift(s) are never the wrong colour, size, model or flavour. They are custom made for the one who stirs His heart - you.
Romans 12:12: Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
James 1:2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,
Romans 15:13: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
John 16:24: Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be complete.
John 16:24: Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be complete.
1 Peter 1:8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory,
Romans 14:17: For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
John 16:22: So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you!
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