A time to serve - with heart and joy

Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy, and rejoice with you all. (Phil 2:17) KJV

I started writing this seven days ago as we stepped into the week. With cold feet and wet noses. After a mild wintry Sunday under pale but cloudless skies, the day was caught in an icy grip. The veld lay white beyond a heavily frosted deck. The dogs were pawing at the back door and the cat lay in a tight curl in the folds of our unmade bed. Then a week went past and I came back to three lines, trying to pick up my train of thought after a week of busyness. That's how it often is with the way I write. I steal an hour here and there, jot down a thought or two, have to pause to look at a lady-bug proffered to me on an upraised palm, or to pull a thorn from a small dirty foot, pick red ants off pant-legs and kiss a scraped arm better. Woman are supposed to be good at multi-tasking, but when it comes to trying to finish a sentence in between five other thoughts or tasks, I often loose the thread, miss the train and sit stranded on an empty platform with nothing to say. Then I stare out the window, like now, watch the mists rolling in, and with gentle nudges, like the first quickening of life in the womb, the thoughts start coming back.

This is how I know and I'd like you to know, that what I write is mostly very disjointed. Like when you walk in the mist and the shapes before you have outlines that are only vaguely recognisable until you get really close, and the image becomes clear and defined. Somehow the Spirit of God draws near, breathes on the lines and paragraphs and fills in the gaps. It reminds me that nothing I do, is from from my own strength or wisdom, but from Him who fills my cup each day.

I remember I woke up a day or two after I wrote the previous blog thinking, (once again) that it was not complete. Truly it is a "Time to serve" now more than ever, and a "Time to serve, fully and truthfully". But if there is no heart and no joy in serving, it is a bland offering, lacking conviction. I enjoyed this quote that I came across recently: "To serve God means to submit to Him in a way that makes Him look amazing."

If I am to see myself as a representative of the heavenly Kingdom and Him who reigns there, would it be a true reflection if  I served with a frown or a sigh? We represent our final homeland on foreign territory. What picture do the citizens of this alien soil see of Who I represent? Is it constant? Does it depend on how I wake up, what my current circumstances are, or how I feel? Or does it rise above that and draw from the heart of my Redeemer?

Paul refers to himself as an "ambassador in bonds". The word used to describe "bonds" in this context means "chain". He was chained to the soldier who was to watch over him. He seems to speak of this chain as a badge of dignity rather than a burden. To ambassadors, indeed, it belongs to be safe from imprisonment; but it was his greater glory to wear the chain for Christ - willingly. Paul was a fallible man, but could mirror Jesus under these circumstances with His joy and strength. He was "in chains" for proclaiming the gospel of Christ - boldly. Yet, his letters are not witnesses to self-pity and bitterness, but letters of hope, encouragement and instruction.

Paul is sitting bound in jail. Things are not looking good for him. No doubt he is uncertain about his future. But yet he rejoices. His language tells us that his rejoicing was present and ongoing not in spite of his sufferings but rather in them. It would be one thing if Paul managed to rejoice at the onset of his troubles, but then gradually sank into discouragement after having been in them for some time. That makes sense to us, and all too often reflects my own experience. But instead what we see is the joy of a servant proclaiming the gospel in the midst of the sufferings associated with his ministry. He is not expecting rewards, his reward is his salvation.

I am always challenged by the way in which the early "fathers of our faith" served as a way of life - a real life offering rather than a commitment here and there to silence a guilty conscience or answer to a sense of duty. He declared himself ready; “very gladly to spend and be spent for you” and in the same breath delivered this sad testimony: “though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved” (2 Corinthians 12:15).

This is often true in the life of a Christian and probably the main reason why our hearts grow weary and despondent when our attempts at bearing witness, serving or guiding are met with hostility. I have realised that the more I love with a Christ-filled heart, the more vulnerable I become. But a child of God does not love in order to be loved. It is a contradiction the world does not understand. In becoming vulnerable on account of the gospel that lives in you, Jesus is able to fill you up with His strength. "When I am weak then I am strong" (2 Cor 12:10). And in that strength is joy.

One of the church fathers is quoted saying: "nothing, the limb feels in the stocks, when the mind is in heaven". How can I regard the difficult times and opposition as a true servant of Christ? I looked at Paul again. Did his trials cause him to lose heart? Did his unrelenting difficulties and even the prospect of execution bring him down to the point of hopeless discouragement? Did he complain, question or resent what God allowed to come across his path? No. For, even as it were; being poured out as a drink offering on behalf of those to whom he ministered, he was glad and rejoiced. He had joy in the midst of extremities that would have broken many a man.

How did he do it? Since I do not have the answers to many tough questions that people ask regarding suffering as a result of your faith (and remaining hope- and joyful), I thought to look at how Paul approached his trials. 

1.His rejoicing was neither a result of irrational optimism nor comparison to others.

2. He did not play mind games with himself or others or deny reality. He underwent his trials –pain and all– with his eyes wide open.

3. In each situation, he sought Christ’s help, pouring out his heart in prayer.

4. He kept in view the truths of God’s sovereignty and greatness and His sufficiency to overrule seemingly bleak circumstances to His ultimate glory.

5. He had confidence that the grace and strength of Jesus would carry him through and above his weakness.

6. It was not mere positive thinking  It was based on a biblical view (i.e. I am weak. God is almighty and faithful, always true to His Word. That is why I appeal to Him through Christ, my all sufficient Mediator, for help).

7. Paul's abiding joy was not dependent on his circumstances and therefore not sporadic, but bound up in the God of grace who saved him.

8. Paul's joy was grounded in humility, for there can be no rejoicing in the heart of of a person who thinks he or she deserves far better than what they receive.

The joy of a faithful servant is centred in Jesus. If the Master is served, exalted, known and glorified, then the servant is more than content – he or she rejoices. If your joy is grounded in your own reputation, then it will rise and (mainly) fall with your honour in the world. An honour which will never amount to much if you are faithful to your Lord. If it is tied to your prosperity, it will be changeable as the sea and could even be snatched away entirely in an instant. If it has its roots in circumstance, it will crumble when you most need to manifest that joy for Christ’s glory.

There will be hard times, but when they come, we may turn to Christ Jesus, and make our complaints known to Him. Our sovereign God has more than enough wisdom and power to turn our most desperate needs and our direst straits into occasions for our sanctification and inner peace and joy. And - above all - Christ’s glory. Is Christ weaker now than He was in the days of the apostles? Is He less loving or less gracious?

I find it quite comforting and freeing to know that I don't always have to try and see the silver linings on the darkest clouds. We are not promised that we shall see these wonderful mysteries, but we know that it is there, even when hidden from our eyes.

I am weak, but Christ is strong and faithful to the end. I can rejoice in knowing Him and doing His will and serving Him, even when all things seem against me, driving me to despair.

His ear is open to your cry; His eye is on His beloved; His heart is entirely for us; His own hand will bring Him the victory and His children an everlasting joy. The moment I set my feet on the path to serve Him, everything I need to do this will I find along it. At exactly the right time. He will edge the path with His sweet fragrance to lift my spirit and my gaze from the thistles at my feet. What I offer to those I meet on this path will carry that fragrance, releasing hope and sweetness and an offering of love to His throne.

(Note: Much of what I wrote was inspired by an article on the "Founders" web page, called "The joy of Paul's ministry". It echoed so clearly with what I had in my heart, that I decided to share some of it with you.)