Progress and Joy

"... I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith" ~ Phil 1:25
(The apostle Paul's words)

Yesterday I walked down the winding path which leads to our cabin and became aware of a quickening. No longer only tight green buds held in secret on the top branches of the birches, but a burgeoning life on every sprig, vine and branch. The tender Camellia blooms swoop with the grace of young belles in their ballgowns. Crab-apple blossoms are borne lightly on slender limbs. From the damp, fragrant earth the lilies wake up to the call of Spring. Early dawn brings fresh sounds and scents - a new song rises with the sun. Lanky-legged calves and fleecy lambs totter after their mamas with sweet dependence and trust. There is an impulse to gather flowers and watch clouds drift by. To dig hands deeply into the earth and plant seedlings, to nurture new growth. To gawk in wonder at nature being renewed, while the world at large sinks into disconnected despair or a false sense of security.

For many people the shift from one season to the next is a time of conflicting emotions. There is anticipation and excitement - tempered by a hint of sadness, for yet another phase and it's associated routine, joys, comforts and challenges - coming to an end. 

We have moved furniture, pruned, worked compost into the tilled soil, stretched stiff joints from unusual activities and soaked up the warmth on sun-kissed days. Tried new recipes, kicked off shoes to dance to an old song, and filled the house with blooms and blossoms.

Then a cold, pale day arrives with a hush and a whisper and the familiar crackle of the fire reminds me that winter will not be pushed back that easily. But it is not only in the seasons that there is a tension and a seeming contradiction from one day to the next. In the last week alone I have read Psalms of praise, reminders of God's anger and wrath, blessings and curses. Confirmations of the expanse of His love and grace to all people, as well as His fierce judgement of His own bride. I have been convicted of a personal stagnation, a tendency to rest too much in the comfort of this all-encompassing grace. I have been reminded that the subject of "end-times" can no longer be viewed with the notion of  "we will deal with it when it comes", for it is already here. 

I have realised that it is no longer enough to pray, read books and passages of Scripture, or listen to teachers - even if all they say is scriptural and sound. There is too much information, even the most solid in the faith can get confused in it. I wake at night, trying to sort out all this knowledge, vying for a place in the already congested place of remembering. Names swirl through my mind. People in need. People who are sick, lonely, broken hearted, poor, hungry, scared, LOST.  But what remains once the list has been placed at Jesus' feet is a certain knowledge that this is no longer enough.

I would love to go on and on about all I am learning through my confusion, but I am held back by the conviction that each person needs to work out his or her own salvation with Jesus. Never before has it been more crucial to have a deep personal relationship with our Saviour. A marriage can never flourish if the man keeps on bringing his wife flowers, but has an affair with his secretary. Or when a wife dutifully irons her husband's shirts and cooks his favourite meals, but finds her satisfaction and fulfilment from meetings with her friends. There is a handful of people from whom I have learnt so much, and at times feel so indebted to, but they would be the first ones to remind me that the greatest way of thanking them for this, is to live out the Truth that they have entrusted in me. And the only way I can do this is by following Jesus.

There is no way I can follow the course of a star in the heavens if I look at the telescope. I need to look through it to see it's illuminated path.

In the course of reading and listening and trying to learn and discern and trying to do all I needed to do, I have certainly felt a sense of achievement. Until I realised that what I felt was pride in all I had done or tried not to do. This took me back to my knees and I rose stiffly, knowing that it is "God alone who works in me to will and to act according to His good purpose." ~ Phil 2:13

It is not the works that work out my salvation, but the regeneration by His mercy to a "new birth". Having been reborn, the old is gone, the new has come. The "new" longs for Jesus, feels lost without Him. The more the "new" is regenerated to the likeness of Jesus, the more His goodness and the desire to "to do good" flows into those who are being renewed. By doing good we reveal God's purpose for His people. By doing good we reveal Christ's grace in our lives. And this grace provides life change.

"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all people. It trains us to reject godless ways and worldly desires and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, as we wait for the happy fulfilment of our hope in the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. He gave himself for us to set us free from every kind of lawlessness and to purify for himself a people who are truly his, who are eager to do good." ~ Titus 2:11-14

Being eager. We have a seven year old who is excessively eager to learn. And when a new concept becomes clear to him, he does a jig and jumps up and down with the joy of this new knowledge.

When all is said and done and there are no words left to convince or describe, it is my eagerness to pursue the Lover of my heart,  the irrepressible joy that comes from a love-relationship with Jesus, that will continue to speak the loudest. The need to sing and dance like David. It is the one instance when "everything with moderation" can happily be thrown overboard. "Excessive admiration and adoration, deep reverence offered, extravagant respect or devotion." 

Jesus is worthy of nothing less.